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Married to a Narcissist

4 Signs You’re Married to a Narcissist

Is your spouse a narcissist? If everything was hunky-dory in the initial years of your marriage, but suddenly you are struggling to make sense of the relationship; the reason could be your partner’s narcissistic tendencies.

Narcissistic people often tend to hide their true selves, making narcissism challenging to spot. However, by recognising the signs of narcissism, you can take the proper steps – whether you want to save your marriage or take legal advice to file for divorce.

But first, let’s look at what narcissism means.

What is narcissism?

Narcissistic people are self-absorbed and tend to have an inflated opinion about themselves. Narcissism is a type of personality disorder – termed Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD. These people think they are better than everyone else and crave the attention and admiration of others.

The typical characteristics of NPD are arrogance, self-centeredness, and a lack of consideration and empathy for other people.

Here are some signs that suggest you are married to a narcissist:

Signs you are married to a narcissist

Their favourite topic is themselves

Narcissists believe they are better than everyone around them and love to talk about their outstanding qualities. They often exaggerate their talents and achievements while expecting others to appreciate them for these. Whether it is relationships or work, all you might be hearing from your narcissistic spouse is:

  • How great they always are,
  • How much work they put in and
  • How lucky you (and others in their lives) are to have them.
  • Being preoccupied with themselves, they will turn every conversation around their favourite topic, themselves.

Need for constant praise

The sense of superiority that narcissists have can burst like a balloon when they do not receive a steady stream of appreciation and recognition. For these people, it’s not enough to get an occasional compliment.

If your spouse expects you to praise and appreciate them but never return the compliments, it is a sure sign that they are narcissists. In addition, your spouse may get angry when there is the slightest interruption in the praise and appreciation you need to shower on them.

Looking perfect is an obsession.

A narcissist spends a great deal of time ensuring they look perfect. Maintaining outward appearances is an obsession with them.

Controlling and manipulative

A person with NPD becomes an expert at manipulating others so that they can get their way every time. They modify their stories, behaviours and even lie to get the upper hand. Then, the narcissist uses manipulation to force the other person to comply.

For instance, your spouse may verbally abuse you, give you the silent treatment, ignore your calls or leave the house at times to force you to accept their behaviour.

Your partner with NPD may also be controlling you by following you, spying on you, cutting you off financially or threatening you.

Dealing with a narcissistic spouse

While some of these behaviours are common in many people who are not necessarily narcissistic, it may be advisable to get help if your spouse is displaying all of these traits.

Are you stuck in this situation? Let me help you.

Read More: How to Deal with a Narcissist Spouse